THE CREEPIEST FACEBOOK AND INSTAGRAM MESSAGE REQUESTS

Source: Urban Dictionary

Social media platforms have made it really easy for anyone in the world to get in touch with anyone in the world. But does that mean you try to reach out to literally ANYONE IN THE WORLD? NO!

creep, hell no
Source: GIPHY

Consider this – You see a girl’s public profile on Instagram and you like her pictures, good for you! You start following her (on Instagram), that’s cool. Now you want to get her to notice you and you think of sending her a direct message. Hold on, take a step back and answer the following questions in your mind:

  • Do you know this lady personally? Does she know you?
  • What is your intention behind sending her a private message?
  • Do you have the balls to comment the text of your message on her post, where the Instagram world can see it?
  • Do you have the balls to say it out loud to her face?

If you are still convinced about DMing her, go for it! At least ensure that your messages make LOGICAL AND GRAMMATICAL SENSE!

Is that too much to expect from your average Indian creep? Apparently, it is.

Here’s proof! Check out screenies of unsolicited messages received by a few bold independent modern women I know. And this is how I would have responded to them!

Creep Level: Harmless but Annoying

Some messages mean absolutely no harm and there is a rare chance of them even being sweet, but there is absolutely no point to them. Guys who find you on Tinder think that they can hunt you down on Instagram and/or Facebook, and approach you there – just to get rid of the chance of not getting a right swipe on Tinder. In the process, they end up encroaching your private space and being labelled as “creeps”.

#1 DEAR CREEP, CAN YOU NOT SLIDE INTO MY DMs FFS? - gross - screenie

I actually do find this “indecorous”, and your apology doesn’t make a difference. Man, if God wills it, I will see you on Tinder, and definitely swipe left.

#2 DEAR CREEP, CAN YOU NOT SLIDE INTO MY DMs FFS? - gross - screenie

Great, I am also available for requesting at Flipkart, Snapdeal and Amazon. **rolls eyes**
Why can’t you wait to see if we match on Tinder, and then have a legit conversation?

#3 DEAR CREEP, CAN YOU NOT SLIDE INTO MY DMs FFS? - gross - screenie

*Hits DECLINE instantly*
I’m thinking out loud RN – if all the guys who see me on Tinder slide into my DMs too, how is that giving them any edge at all?
Happy to see that you realise how “random” you’re being tho.

Creep Level: Disgusting

OK, these guys think they’re in a relationship with you and that they have the right to send you heart/kissie emojis and use words like “baby”, etc. Obviously, someone needs to tell them they are absolutely WRONG! You are not my s/o, so back off!

#4DEAR CREEP, CAN YOU NOT SLIDE INTO MY DMs FFS? - gross - screenie

“Baby” hogi teri maa!
DON’T YOU DARE GET TOO FAMILIAR.

#5DEAR CREEP, CAN YOU NOT SLIDE INTO MY DMs FFS? - gross - screenie

Did I ask you for your opinion, or for that creepy (but cute in any other context) emoji? I get that compliment quite often from those WHO KNOW ME and they surely spell it the right way. So, thanks for your validation, but no thanks!

#6 DEAR CREEP, CAN YOU NOT SLIDE INTO MY DMs FFS? - gross - screenie

“Flipping through FB profiles randomly”? Get a life, man! Why don’t you search for people you know instead and send them friend requests?
Well, if you don’t have friends or anything constructive to do, I suggest you read “random articles” on Wikipedia. It is an actual meaningful thing, and believe me, nobody will get creeped out by it.

Creep Level: ZEUS

Lo and behold! The following screenies feature GOD LEVEL CREEPS and are bound to take your breath away. No explanation needed, see for yourself:

#7DEAR CREEP, CAN YOU NOT SLIDE INTO MY DMs FFS? - gross - screenie

Wow, this guy is one bold yet majorly considerate creep. Thanks for giving me so many options to pick from, kind man. How about option F – SOME SPACE! Think you forgot to list that down.

#8DEAR CREEP, CAN YOU NOT SLIDE INTO MY DMs FFS? - gross - screenie

Okayyyy, what the actual!? I seriously doubt you are well-educated for the following reasons:

  1. Good schools often have a “value education” subject (which everybody loathes, but whatever). You seem to have totally missed out on ANY values.
  2. You’ve made a fake account to hit on unsuspecting women – that just says it all.
  3. You’re delusional about the hair fetish – Seeing two pictures on my Facebook timeline does not give you either the right or the background to assume what fetish I might have.
  4. Pathetic grammar, sentence formation, usage of punctuation. Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic!

#9DEAR CREEP, CAN YOU NOT SLIDE INTO MY DMs FFS? - gross - screenie

You’re right man, I do not give a damn. Do you seriously think I would want to meet a stranger who is “imagining me” – I’m entirely creeped out RN.
P.S. Thanks for the assurance “Picche nhi padunga”. At least you’re not a stalker. **relief**

*************

I sincerely hope that this article makes it to the creeps’ DMs and they realise that they’re making us HIGHLY UNCOMFORTABLE. Please find better ways to approach us (fresh article idea, woohoo).

creepy boys
Source: GIPHY

Do you have creepy DM screenies that you want the world to see? You can mail them to me at saloni@ydpdmedia.com, along with your thoughts and feedback.

Cover image credit: Affinity Magazine

4 COMMENTS

  1. LOL….can’t believe the lengths some guys can go to 🙂
    It seems like the internet version of ‘mavalis’
    Nice article !

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